Wednesday, October 31, 2012
While I would love to say it gets easier being a heart mom, it would be a lie. It is such an emotional roller coaster. Pain finds you even when it is not your own baby in crisis. You find yourself checking in on other babies that may be sick, grieving with other heart parents who have lost, and rejoicing in moments of good news and milestones. This week I was elated to hear of two new heart babies being born and doing great in spite of having a CHD, both TA babies like Ry, but devastatingly saddened to hear of two heart babies who lost their battle. I feel so helpless! It makes me stop and think about the little Halloween outfits that will unexpectedly be unworn, the purchased baby clothes that once brought a smile, now bring tears of sadness as they are gently packed away, the empty car seat staying in the car until the strength to remove it is found, the phone calls of what should be well wishes going unanswered because there are no answers to give, the parents finding courage to face the unsettled quiet of a house that should be filled with first moments, chatter, and a baby's hungry cries. Every single day with my daughter is a gift!!!! I know she is special and I treasure every moment because as a heart mom you never know if it will be your last. Even perfectly simple procedures can have devastating results. My mind just will not stop thinking of the pain heart parents who have lost a baby/child go through, but I am inspired at how many heart babies are thriving and how medicine is advancing - it is hope after all, which is what becomes your best friend right beside uncertainty. Hats off to other heart moms, you are amazing, beautiful, and strong! To all of the CHD kids we know, if I could say one thing to you it would be you inspire me, you have shown me Ry has no limits and while there will be challenges, there is nothing that can stop greatness from being great!