My dear sweet Ryleigh,
I dedicate this blog to you so that we can share our journey with close friends and family. Also to see how far you come and to share the ups and downs with other Truncus families. One day you will be old enough to read it and see the love that was there from the moment you became a member of our family.
I wanted to write you a note today to let you know that my heart is full of love for you. In looking back at the moment your daddy and I decided we would try to have you, was one of the happiest times I can remember. The moment I found out you had gone from a twinkle in my eye to a conceived baby, I began to build hopes and dreams. We are 22 weeks along and in 17 weeks you will be born. I can’t express in words how excited and overjoyed I am to know that soon I will hold you in my arms. I know that day will be bittersweet because I know they are going to take you from me and your daddy to make you better.
I cannot describe at this moment how I'm going to feel when it is time for you to go, but know no matter where you are, mommy and daddy will always be with you. I look forward to the day when we get to see you smile, laugh, and play with your big brother Cael.
When I found out that we were having a little girl I was so elated. You have no idea how much I wanted you. I had so many hopes and dreams for you before we knew about your condition. And it's not that I don't now, knowing your condition, but I realize those hopes and dreams have changed. My hope is that you will live a long and happy life filled with everything you want to do. My dream is that one day you will meet a man as wonderful as your daddy that you will fall in love with and have little ones that capture your heart as you and Cael have done for me. You, Cael and your daddy are my life, my reason for breathing – when you are born I ask that you be strong and come home to me, to us.
I never want you to think that this condition will ever be a burden on our family because what you have given us is the true meaning of unconditional love. Now that I have felt you, heard you, and seen you through technology – there is no way I can lose you. I need you Ryleigh. We will love you like a perfect child even though your heart and my heart are broken. Your normal will become our new normal, and we will make the best of every moment. You have given me purpose like nothing ever before.
I was driving your big brother to school today and he was humming a sweet song. I asked him what the song was from and he said he was singing it for you. Did you hear him? He sings to you all the time, and he tells you how much he loves you each and every day. You two are going to be best friends! He is sweet and caring and wants to share in this journey, I can’t wait for you two to meet.
I'm going to go now, but I can feel you with each of your gentle kicks, which reassures me that you are with me and we are together not matter what. I will write more soon.
Love you always,
mommy, daddy, and Cael